When life is uncertain…

This week has made me think a lot about uncertainty. How we find ourselves to be comfortable in the way we are living and how we are seeking after the face of God. It is then that life seems to throw us for a loop…. This week has done just that for me. I have been moved from a position of “comfortable” into a circle of “unknown”.

Through all of this uncertainty I have been contemplating what it means to follow the “will of God” You know what I mean. You have things on your mind, you pray, you ask for signs to know what God wants you to do, and then you interpret EVERYTHING around you. By this point I have usually figured out what I want God’s answer to be. It is easy in that instance to begin to see “signs” that are for my position and “sign” that against my position. I am fast to thank God for agreeing with me, while quickly disregarding the flashing red lights against my decision.

It is now that I ask myself “How do we know?” How do we know what signs come from God and what signs we are manipulating to fit our idea of a correct decision that can heed the answer of following God’s will? I don’t know. I can’t wrap my head around it right now.

I do know that in everyday relationships it is when we are in conversation with people and know what is going on in their lives that we can best understand decisions that need to be made in relation to them. I assume it is the same with our Father, that unless we are seeking after God’s face and in relationship with Him, we will never be able to detach ourselves from our desires and wants and understand what it is that God desires of our lives.

As I get frustrated waiting for the uncertainty to become clear, I find my self laughing that Advent is a time of waiting as well. This morning at worship as the acolyte was lighting the second candle on the advent wreath I was reminded that Jesus was worth waiting for…that the uncertainty would become clear, just as the prophesies of the Old Testament became clear with a baby lying in a manger.
-laura-